Food for thought

Saying 'I am STRESSED' has become trendier, similar to saying 'I am BUSY'. Stress and busy are so commonly used that we have started believing that we are actually stressed and busy from doing absolutely nothing. Let's face it if you don't work; you don't eat. This is the principle in most countries, but a lot of us want to eat and not work, and the idea of going to work to earn a living is considered stressful.

Picture: Copyright 2023 Demelza Honeyborne

Are we really a nation of stressed and busy people, or is this our way of making excuses to avoid situations or/and shy away from responsibilities? Or does being or appearing stressed and busy mean you have a complete and successful life? I like being active, which distracts me from thinking (I am an overthinker), but I am not fond of stress.

A person is said to experience stress when there is a discrepancy between the perceived demands of the world and the perceived ability to cope. Stress results from our inability to meet our perception of the world's demands. (Green, 2013).

As the definition states, stress sometimes derives from 'our perceived belief that the world demands we accomplish greatness and leave a legacy. People often ask when you die how you would like to be remembered, which is not all bad, but many people over-exhaust themselves to paint this great picture to the world that may end up being the death of them.

Don't get me wrong, life is stressful, but most often, we are the cause of our stresses. We try to meet unrealistic demands and have desires far exceeding our resources. The saying 'cut your coat according to your measurement' is one people should heed. I am not saying that you should not dream big; I am saying you should dream and set goals that are SMART GOALS. Goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.

Over the last couple of years, I repeatedly re-evaluated my life. I removed any demands that were causing me stress, including people, habits, beliefs, and cultural practices. I have been prioritising who and what brought me peace. You can do this as well. Sometimes, the smallest of stressors have the most significant impact mentally and physically.

However, other stressors outside of our control are environmental and societal factors. Each cultural group has stressors that affect the group overall and individually. The ethnic minority groups and immigrants, predominantly African and Caribbean, living in the West, including the U.K., in addition to the environmental and societal factors, have to face the stressors of racial discrimination and inequalities. The fear of feeling unwanted, undervalued, unsafe and unprotected in what you have considered your own home is stressful. On a positive note, most of these stressors serve as a propeller for greatness and the breaking down societal barriers resulting in remarkable outcomes.

Understanding how stress over a long period becomes chronic, affecting our health, is essential. Areas of the brain involved in stress response include the amygdala (emotional responses: feelings of happiness, fear, anger, and anxiety), hippocampus (learning and memory), and the prefrontal cortex (executive functions: planning, reasoning, problem-solving, creativity, comprehension, and perseverance). These affected areas are vital, and prolonged stress, if not addressed, can have a lasting negative effect on the brain. Chronic stress is reported to have an increased risk of depression and anxiety and bodily disorders such as high blood pressure, eczema, digestive problems, stomach ulcers, weight gain, memory and concentration impairment, and sleep disorders. With the report on the increase in many health issues in the U.K. and worldwide, maybe we are stressed and busy, and it is not just a trend.

Learning to manage stress may sound complicated, but identifying areas of your life that cause stress and purposely addressing each stressor at a time may significantly improve your mental and physical state. Managing your stress may lead to a peaceful mind, better self-control, drama and complicated free life and more space and time to focus on what's important.

Some things on my list that are advisable and doable in little steps are:

1. Prioritising you

2. Healthy eating, including eating in moderation and eating less ultra-processed food

3. Exercise

4. Enough sleep

5. Making time for hobbies

6. Volunteering

7. Setting well-defined boundaries (is now my favourite)

8. Keeping a journal of your thoughts (reflective thinking)

9. Seeking counselling (don't suffer in silence)
   

Things to avoid:

Don't stress because you can't do everything you plan to do, including those listed above.

Don't use alcohol, drugs or overeating to treat stress, as these may lead to dependence on these substances.

So, what are you stressed about?